Saying I'm Not Into Black Girls Isn't a Preference. It's Racist
Under white supremacy, black women can be lots of things — but they aren’t seen as dateable. Guess what? White people who believe this are racist.
One of the timeless — but no less relevant and humanistic — cliches we issue to ourselves and others about dating and intimate companionship is that a person’s character, not their racial makeup, is (or should be) the only criteria that matters when deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship.
This is, at least, what we tell ourselves, and how we would like to believe we navigate our way through the oftentimes treacherous terrain of the modern dating scene.
Sounds pretty basic, right? Assuming we measure up to this adage. For it’s a fact that most of us tend to spout nonsense, contradict and doublethink our asses off when we open up about our dating lives.
True, everyone has certain preferences that they actively or unconsciously look for. And, when it comes to finding someone who possesses those preferences, someone who meets that criteria, however unrealistic or fantastical they are, many of them can be extremely short-sighted and superficial. For example, judging whether or not a person is suitable to have a meal and share your bed with based solely on their height, weight, eye shape, hair texture, skin color, etc.
But, it’s those deeper psychological, emotional, and intellectual qualities that we believe should matter, ultimately. At least, that’s the ideal.
However, it’s worth asking, repeatedly, if we meet this ideal; if we actually center this value, IRL, when we make our dating choices. Judging by what I’m reading, we’re far from it.